


Wicked

by Jolty13



Category: Keroro Gunsou | Sgt. Frog
Genre: Evil Plans, Inappropriate Humor, Jealousy, KeroTama, KuruGiro, M/M, Naughtiness, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Tamama has issues, unlikely alliance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-01 09:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12702408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jolty13/pseuds/Jolty13
Summary: Tamama wants Keroro.Kururu wants Giroro.When these two twisted personalities come together to achieve their goals, it means chaos for everyone involved!





	1. Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> This story is probably going to be just a lot of craziness. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> FYI this uses a lot of Tamama's nicknames for characters that are said in the Japanese version of the anime.

The room was dark, as were the twisted feelings growing in my belly. I ground my teeth and wanted to rip that woman’s head off for holding my sergeant so closely. Everyone and everything else in the room blacked out in my mind; all I saw was the two of them, and the overwhelming hatred that made me want to wrench both of them apart even if it meant killing them.

“Jealousy…” I growled, my fists clenching. “Jealousy…”

“Shh!” Corporal sharply silenced me. I whipped my head around, ready to direct my bloodlust toward him, but once the other two were out of my sight, it didn’t matter so much anymore. Corporal was just a bully.

I folded my arms and slumped back on the couch, spooning closer to Momochi. Not that she would be any help right now; her eyes were only on Fukki when he was around. Despite how annoying that was, I was a little glad to see that at least she was having some luck with her pursuits.

This was a good night for making moves on a crush. The whole gang had gathered at the Hinata house for a scary movie viewing; something about a ghost girl that liked to drown people in their bath tubs. Momochi was taking full advantage of the situation, leaning against Fukki out of “fear” and holding his arm. I could practically hear the squeals of joy she had to be muffling in.

Sure, Momochi and Fukki, that was fine. But why…

My narrowed eyes slid back to Sergeant and that woman. The dark feelings immediately swept over me again. She wrapped her arms around him while he sat on her lap, both of them totally oblivious to my seething jealousy. Their wide eyes were glued on the TV as something probably frightening happened in the movie. But it would never be nearly as frightening as my craving for him.

 _I’ll get him_ , I growled mentally toward that woman’s stupid face. _I’ll get him back from you._

“Tama-chan,” Momochi whispered, interrupted my dark thoughts. I turned my head again and forgot about my evil desires when I saw her handing me a big round lollipop.

“Ha!” I squealed, gladly taking the stick of sugar from her and popping it in my mouth. I leaned closer to her again, happy to be watching this movie with my friends tonight.

By the time the movie was over, Momochi had successfully wrapped herself around Fukki and I had downed four more lollipops and a bowl of popcorn. Everyone had kept me away from the soda for fear of my gaseous results but I still had half a pack of juice boxes. It had been a great night. I hopped off the couch with thoughts that all that was left was to sleep it off.

“Oji-sama! That was so scary!”

“Right, Mois-dono? I picked it out from the video store myself!”

The twisted feelings took hold of me again. Sergeant was standing on the couch next to that woman and their hands were clasped. He blushed while telling her how he found out about that dumb movie, while she hung onto every stupid word. How could she act so interested?! He was just spewing another ridiculous story and anyone could tell that it was boring!

“That’s nothing!” I burst in, jumping back onto the couch and grabbing one of Sergeant’s arms from her. “I found an even scarier movie last week about a monster that hides in people’s shadows and eats them when they’re not looking! It’s way scarier than this one!” My mind went blank as the words flew out of me with a raised voice. I had to yell, say anything to get her hands off of him.

Sergeant looked a little taken aback, but at least his searching eyes were on me now. “Well, sure,” he said after a moment. “We should watch that one next weekend.”

My frenzy cooled down at his reaction. I pulled in closer and put my other hand on his arm. “Right, Sergeant!” my normal cute voice returned. “We’ll watch that one anytime you want. It could be just you and me!”

“G-Gero…” he sighed, seeming a little awkward. I didn’t care; all that mattered was that his attention was back toward me. That woman didn’t say a word, and I didn’t even look to see the defeated expression I bet was smeared on her face.

_Victory._

“Eh?!” Corporal’s squawk distracted me, and I looked over to see him getting antsy over Koyuki holding onto Nacchi too closely. The touchy-feely ninja had her arms totally wrapped around her shoulders in a tight squeeze hold, while Nacchi looked a little embarrassed.

“Natsumi-san!” she squealed. “These movies are so fun and scary! You’ll have to sleep over at my place next time and we’ll tell scary stories.”

“Well, of course,” Nacchi fumbled. “That’ll be fun.” Her words seemed more unsure than that, though.

Meanwhile, Corporal fumed. His face turned an even brighter red than usual and he started waving his arms around frantically. “N-Natsumi! You didn’t tell me that woman was staying the night!” His voice had pitched up to that jealous tone that was a mix of anger and weepiness. Corporal was so pathetic.

“Huh?” Natsumi said, lowering her eyes at him. I could have sworn Koyuki snuck him a challenging look of her own at the same time. “It’s not like I have to ask your permission.”

Corporal broke down into a fit of angry stutters as he realized he had no argument but still wanted to protest. He watched with seething eyes as Nacchi and Koyuki headed out of the living room to the upstairs.

Then a glimpse of something yellow caught my eye. Kururu Senpai was standing by the far corner of the couch, observing the same scene I was. It was hard to see with his big glasses on, but I thought I saw one of his eyebrows furrow. Like he was irritated by something.

“Oji-sama! We should get ready for bed, too, right? You could say, early to bed, early to rise?”

“Right!”

_WHAT?!_

By the time I turned my head again, Sergeant was holding hands with that woman again, walking toward the threshold out of the living room. She smiled innocently, but how smug, to ignore me like that. Like everything was fine when the demon of jealousy was on her back.

“Wait!” I yelped, unable to watch him and her walk away from me like that. They both turned around but kept their hands together. “You can’t go to bed! We can still stay up and watch more scary movies!” I finally directed my frantic speech to her. “You go ahead and get to bed yourself!” I spat the words.

“Tamama Nitouhei,” Sergeant sighed, his eyes closing. “Go home to your own place.”

I froze, crushed at his rejection. My jaw dropped down and I couldn’t even bring myself to fight back anymore as the two exited the room. Left without me. The two of them. I lost again.

_Sergeant…_

_What do I have to do to make you love me? I try everything and fight tooth and nail for you, but you always leave me here alone. I would give anything to crush that woman and take you away with me. I would go to any length…_

My pitiful side faded out as my thoughts fueled up the new determination that always replaced it. Yes, I would go to any length. Do any thing I had to.

“Tama-chan,” Momochi interrupted me again. Her face was blushing terribly from snuggling with Fukki during the movie. “Are you ready to walk home now?”

I looked past her. Two other things took my attention.

Corporal was staring longingly after Nacchi.

Kururu Senpai was staring at Corporal with that same agitated look as before. Staring at Corporal staring after Nacchi.

He looked exactly how I felt watching Sergeant and that woman walk away from me, both of them together and me alone.

Was it…?

No, Kururu Senpai doesn’t get all emotional like that. And even if he does…I don’t want to know!

“Tama-chan?”

“Eh, yeah! Let’s go home!” I cried happily, brushing the creepy thought out of my mind. I took Momochi’s hand and we started to head out, after she gave her million heartfelt goodbyes to Fukki. I’d lost my own battle this evening, but it wouldn’t stay that way for long. That woman was going to pay, and I was going to get Mister Sergeant back, one way or another.


	2. Operation: Hairball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wouldn't be a Keroro Gunso story without a little invasion!

“Ah, all right, everyone,” Sergeant called out, “settle down.”

No need. The three of us were bored to tears waiting for him to show up and start this invasion meeting. “Settle down” was probably only appropriate for Giroro Gochou. The old guy sat with one leg propped on the seat of his desk, tapping his foot with barely contained impatience. It was only a matter of time before he would flip his lid on Mister Sergeant again.

“As you know, we have made little progress in our invasion of Pekopon, yes sir!”

Gochou spazzed a little. I prepared to lay low again.

Sergeant took out a retractable stick and whapped it against the hanging screen behind him. “But I’ve arranged the perfect invasion plan. Pay close attention, men!”

I was definitely paying attention, but it wasn’t to the latest plan. I leaned my head on one hand while the other grabbed at a bag of potato chips and checked out my Sergeant. He instructed that woman to start up the projector, sounding so important and sure of himself despite that this would probably soon be our latest failure. He was so hot when he did that, for sure. And all I had to do was sit back and enjoy the view.

Eventually my attention drifted to the crummy slideshow he’d rigged together. It depicted a photograph of a Pekoponian brush used for the hair growing out of their heads. Mister Sergeant went on about how he’d noticed the accumulation of hair in between the bristles of these brushes, the perfect weapon for us to threaten the Pekoponians with, if we were to collect it all into a giant hairball. The photos began to zoom close in on the tangles of pulled hair wadded up from Nacchi and Ms. Aki’s hair brushes, making me start to lose my appetite.

Threaten the planet with a hairball. Was Sergeant actually serious? Of course not, but who knew? Maybe it’d work.

After Mister Sergeant concluded his presentation (complete with triumphant music and applause-less bows), Corporal finally spoke up. “That sounds like it might actually work,” he grunted. I guess we all had to have a little faith if we were to follow Sergeant in our mission.

Kururu Senpai was next to chime in. “Sounds vile,” he giggled. “I’m in.”

“Mister Sergeant’s so smart!” I gushed fake enthusiasm.

One last voice cut in. “I cannot approve of this violent and disgusting-“

“It’s settled then!” Sergeant cried happily. “Operation: Hairball will now begin!”

“EH?!”

I looked back and noticed that Dororo Senpai’s disapproval had gone unacknowledged. Sitting behind us, he curled back into a ball on his seat and looked all traumatized. “Too cruel,” he whimpered lightly, staring off into space now. I didn’t even know why he tried.

The post-approval part of our meeting began. The four of us gathered in a circle, beginning our chants. Sergeant started first, as always, and I followed. How I loved that part where it was just the two of us. It used to be like that, before the platoon got back together after our arrival on Pekopon. We resonated all by ourselves and our voices rang perfectly. His was throaty and low, while mine harmonized with a higher pitch. I wished we’d resonate together all the time.

But of course, the others followed, and once the resonating had completed, we all set out to our work for the mission. Kururu Senpai went off to build the invention that would collect all the stranded hairs, while Mister Sergeant set off to swipe a specimen of a real hair-clogged brush from Nacchi. Giroro Senpai chose to prepare some artillery, and I took the opportunity to take a snack break. Life sure was easy sometimes.

By the time I got back to Sergeant’s room where we had a smaller meeting table set up, everyone else was there. Kururu had whipped up a strange looking machine for the operation, Mister Sergeant was holding a bright pink hair brush, Corporal had a silly number of guns and explosives on hand, and I had a bag of gumballs from my stash of sweets. I supposed the exciting part was about to begin.

“All right, everyone!” Sergeant began once we’d all been seated. “Let’s test Kururu’s invention out. I got this brush from Natsumi-dono’s room.”

“N-N-Natsumi’s hair brush…” Corporal stuttered quietly, sounding all excited.

Kururu held up a remote control and spoke, sounding pretty perky himself at unveiling his latest invention. “I call this the Hair Today Gone Today Ray, pojito!” At the last word he pressed the button and the machinery behind him began to hum. A gray and yellow contraption made of a large ray gun atop a wide paneled base swiveled to aim at the brush laid on the table, and moments later the wads of red hair stuck between the bristles detached from the brush and hovered in the air in front of the ray like it was held by a magnet. While the others cheered, I imagined the result if we used that ray on every brush on the planet. It would be so gross and big, maybe they’d really have to surrender.

 _Or be buried underneath the biggest wad of hair ever,_ I thought with an evil smile. It sounded ridiculous at first, but now I was starting to feel refreshed about how sinister my Mister Sergeant could be.

“You could say, test successful?”

My smile dropped into a scowl at the familiar speech. Was that woman really here? I thought this was about _our_ invasion. Why did the “Keronians Only” rule not apply to that bitch? I shoved a few gumballs in my mouth to try and chew off my frustrations.

“Oh yeah, Mois-dono,” Sergeant said, rubbing the back of his head. “Thanks for distracting Natsumi-dono with girl talk while I took her brush.”

“It was my pleasure, Oji-sama!” she chirped back. “You could say, friendly conversation?”

_CAN’T THAT WOMAN SAY ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES THAT TIRED OLD LINE?! YOU THINK HE’D BE GETTING SICK OF THAT BY NOW!_

I seethed while he praised her. So she kept Nacchi busy with some conversation. Big deal! When it came to combat, I was the best, and he’d better not forget that!

“You have a need for hair brushes, Senpai?”

I glanced over to the other side of the table at hearing Kururu’s words. He propped his head up on one hand and watched while Giroro tried to sneak the test hair brush away. Upon getting caught, he snatched it close to him defensively, going from his normal red to a glowing blush. “I’m just, keeping this on hand for the mission,” he replied gruffly.

“Ku, ku, ku,” Kururu giggled carefully. His eyes drifted away but I could tell that he was still talking solely to Mister Corporal. “You have to admit, my invention works flawlessly.”

Instead of agreeing, Corporal was right back to blushing over that little pink brush. Of course, he did because it was Nacchi’s. The guy actually smelled it a little, seriously, and then he was off to dreamland.

Kururu drifted his gaze further away. His smile faded out as he did. I blew a bubble with my gum as I tried to nonchalantly watch. Kururu Senpai sure didn’t like it when his work went unappreciated.

With the testing phase complete, the four of us regrouped in the operations room to execute the plan. I was getting excited now; even with all the failures under our belts, I couldn’t help but feel that rush every time we tried. There was never any telling if today might be the day we’d finally rule the planet. It gave me a surge of energy just to consider it.

The Hair Today Gone Today Ray had been relocated to the roof of the Hinata household and we all took seats at our assigned posts. I sat at the front on the right, while Mister Sergeant stood upon his chair at front and center.

Seeing him posed like an adventurous captain at the helm of a ship, I remembered the other reason these plans gave me such a rush. Times like this reminded me of the cool Sergeant I always admired. Sure, when he played with toys and goofed off, he was fun to be around, but now he looked so commanding and official. That was when I _really_ wanted to jump on him and…

A slight warmth grew in my cheeks and I looked forward again to where the images of our upcoming invasion were being projected. This was no time for fantasies; I had to keep alert and not let him down today. We would take Pekopon with this plan. I was sure of it, yes I was.

“Sergeant Major Kururu,” Sergeant commanded, “Fire the ray!”

“Pojito!” I heard Kururu Senpai chirp excitedly from the back of the room. Then on the hologram screen, we saw the ray atop the Hinata house begin to glow, and emit lots of little yellow waves.

“Haha, it’s working!” I cried out, barely keeping on the edge of my seat. Directly behind me, Giroro Senpai made a sound of awe himself.

The camera showing the operation zoomed out and what looked like lots of tiny specks of dust came flying to the space of air about the ray. Before long a tiny little ball formed in the air, and quickly started to grow.

“Operation Hairball at 13% completion,” that woman noted cheerfully from her post on the other side of Sergeant. “You could say, smooth sailing?”

“Gero, gero, gero!” Mister Sergeant chortled. “Stupid Pekoponians, now we will use your own hair against you! Keep going, Sergeant Major Kururu!”

All of us watched in excitement as the hairball grew and our operation completion rate rose before our eyes. 20%, 45%, 60%...within a few minutes the hairball had grown to several size the times of the Hinata household. For something so gross, it sure seemed beautiful at the moment.

Corporal Giroro, that silly, was actually weeping. “K-Keroro, finally we’re going to seriously threaten the Pekoponians. I thought this day would never come!”

“Ah, there is an issue,” Kururu announced. I turned to see him hammering away at the buttons on his control board.

Before any of us could ask what the issue was, an even louder voice cut through the air. “STUPID FROG!!!” Nacchi bellowed. She stomped through the big automatic door at the front of the room, looking angry enough to beat us all into a pulp. Fukki tentatively followed with a worried expression.

“WHAT IS THAT DISGUSTING THING HOVERING OVER OUR HOUSE?!” she screamed.

Giroro interrupted. “Kururu, what’s the issue?!”

“The weight of the hair is exceeding the ray’s anti-gravitational output.” He giggled nervously. “It’s going to come down.”


	3. Trends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tamama starts to realize all his efforts to get Keroro are failing. But there's someone else in the same boat as him...

“It’s going to come down?” Natsumi repeated. “On our _house_?!”

Giroro was now standing on his chair. He gritted his teeth. “Kururu, stop the operation!”

Mister Sergeant came right back. “No such thing!” he barked. “We’re finally succeeding in our invasion. Doesn’t that matter to you, Corporal Giroro?”

Giroro Senpai glared at Sergeant, but he also looked torn. I was feeling the same way. Setting out to take over the planet was one thing, but letting Fukki and Nacchi’s house get crushed when they were standing right in front of us…I wished Mister Sergeant would reel in his confidence now.

“Sergeant…” Fukki said quietly. I glanced to notice Mister Sergeant’s expression falter at his friend’s disappointment.

“No way!” Nacchi persisted. “Crush our house, and I’ll crush your face! Each and every last one of you!” I drew back at her threat; Nacchi was awfully frightening. I knew she’d do it, too.

“It’s too late,” Kururu Senpai declared, still swiping away at the control board like crazy. “The ray is overheated, there’s no response. The hairball will fall within one minute.”

Now Nacchi was ringing Sergeant’s neck like a ragdoll. “What are we supposed to do if that thing destroys our house?!”

Giroro Senpai jumped up and materialized a bazooka so it sat on his shoulder. “We blow it to pieces. Here I go!” With that, he also materialized a set of laser wings and took off through the automatic tunnel in the ceiling, up to destroy the hairball.

Nacchi sprinted up to Kururu’s station. “I’m going, too! Suit me up!”

Kururu leaned back in his chair and pressed a button on the side of his control board. “Such a bother,” he groaned.

A moment later there was a flash and suddenly Nacchi appeared in her special power suit. “Okay!” she cried out, pulling a light sword out from the pack on her back and taking off after Giroro Senpai.

_Looks like we’re playing the heroes again._

“Me, too, for sure!” I finally chimed in, jumping up and feeling the weight of a vinyl pack materialize over my shoulders. Half a second later a set of bright pink laser wings shot out and I swooped up toward the hole in the ceiling. Sergeant was still winded from getting strangled, and I could see Giroro Senpai and Nacchi already on the camera display, darting around the hairball and starting to attack. The last thing I saw before zooming into the dark tunnel was Kururu lounging back in his chair and watching the scene.

 “45 seconds,” he muttered.

I flew up in the darkness, toward the growing circle of daylight above me where the tunnel opened in the backyard. This was the exact opposite of what we were supposed to be doing. But if the ray couldn’t hold the hairball up, our mission was over. Now all that mattered was helping our friends.

Something snapped in me and I felt the beast inside take over. _And as long as it means I get to fight, who the hell cares?!_

By the time I got to the surface my vision was crystal clear and my body felt heated up, a living weapon ready to fire. I saw the hairball now, hovering above and so large that it cast a giant shadow that made it seem like dusk in the middle of the afternoon. My muscles crackled; I sucked in air and absorbed all my jealousy toward that woman, all the anger that this operation turned out to be a disaster and now we were having to abort it, and turned it into power.

“Tamama…IMPACT!!!”

I was forced backward as the explosion shot from my mouth, a beam of light that struck into the mass of hair and sprayed shreds of it everywhere. The impact blasted a giant wedge in the ball, but there still wasn’t any time to lose. The ray was still collecting more hair, making it grow larger with every second.

Suddenly Nacchi swooped by, twirling through the air and hacking with a laser sword in each hand. Giroro Senpai was right behind her, blasting mercilessly away against the parts she’d already damaged. A large chunk of hair broke off and he blew it into shreds with another rocket before it could hit the house.

_They’re so powerful_ , I thought, watching with awe for a moment. _I’m so…jealous!!!_

That feeling fueled me up again. My body temperature spiked even higher than before and I immediately let loose with another blast. This one tore completely through the ball, shreds of it spraying everywhere, then behind it I saw Dororo Senpai launch into the air.

“Dororo Ninja Arts!” he cried out. “Razor Edge!”

I backed up as scores of glowing shuriken formed around Lance Corporal and shot forward all at once a moment later. The result was blinding, flashes shooting all across my vision as the summoned blades sliced through every bit of the hairball. Dororo Senpai sure had some scary power.

By the time the flashes ceased the hairball was nothing more than a cloud of chunks and shreds of hair slowly falling in the air.

My cheery demeanor returned. “Yay!” I cried. “Dororo Senpai’s so cool!” He looked at me and rubbed the back of his head bashfully.

“Oh no!” Nacchi gasped in dismay next to me.

I turned to see what she was looking at and couldn’t believe it. The destroyed hair was floating back _up_ , gathering again toward the space above the ray. The machine was just reversing the damage we’d made, and quickly increasing speed.

“No, you don’t!” Giroro Senpai bellowed, shooting forward. He swiveled in the air right at the center of where the hair was zooming toward, gun in each hand.

Nacchi dived right in after him, screaming his name. I watched in despair as they both disappeared into the growing mass of hair. They would be buried for sure!

“N-no!” Dororo gasped. He immediately shot downward with his katana unsheathed, slicing the ray in half an instant later with his blade. The hairball stopped growing, but it immediately began to fall along with all the other shreds that didn’t make it back into it.

I flew forward and grabbed a couple handfuls of the hair wad, which was a lot smaller than it was but that wasn’t saying much. It was still  about the size of Nacchi and Fukki’s house and weighed a ton! Dororo Senpai grabbed onto the other end and we fought to keep it from falling. I hoped Nacchi and Giroro Senpai were all right in there.

I struggled with all my strength, but it was still falling. It would hit the house in just a few seconds.

“Ku, ku, ku, ku…” 

There was a whooshing sound and I looked down to see Kururu Senpai flying up toward us in his robot. He reached the center of the hairball and lifted it from the bottom just before it would hit the Hinata roof, then helped us lower it into a heap at the back yard instead. I looked at the light and dark brown mess that piled up to the fence and wanted to gag. I’d had about enough of this yucky operation.

Fukki, Sergeant, and that dumb woman raced out the back door as soon as it settled. “Sis!” Fukki yelled, scanning the mass of hair.

Sergeant was equally panicked. “Natsumi-dono! Giroro!”

There was no movement, no sign of them. I cried out in despair; how were we going to get them out? Where were we going to start? What if they suffocated before then?!

Just then the middle of it kicked, and I caught sight of a faint pink glow coming out from the tangled threads.

_Is that…?_

A second later the glow turned into a burst of light, a whirl as the laser sword swept an opening through the hair. Corporal fell out onto the grass with Nacchi on top of him, both looking winded but otherwise fine. “So gross,” Nacchi grumbled, taking big breaths of air. Mister Corporal just looked comfy being stuck underneath her; his face was as bright as her laser sword.

Fukki ran up to them. “Sis! Corporal! Are you all right?”

“N-N-Natsumi,” Corporal stuttered half-heartedly. “That was so dumb.”

Nacchi gave him an irritated smile before getting up off of him. “Speak for yourself!”

_What a relief!_ I jumped for joy and cheered; maybe our invasion had failed but everything and everyone was all right.

Well, that’s what I thought. I stopped to glance over and saw Kururu Senpai standing to the side, out of his robot now. He watched with arms folded while Giroro Senpai sat up and thanked Nacchi for helping him with a deep blush on his face. Kururu Senpai didn’t look angry, exactly, but the usual grin wasn’t present on his face. He just kept staring at Corporal with that strange look. He looked…serious!

“Well, all’s well, all’s well!” Mister Sergeant said, doing a little happy dance. He looked at me and we shared a smile. So irresistible.

Then a hand reached down and grabbed him by the head. Nacchi lifted him up so he was eye level with her. “Eh?” she said darkly. “And how is THIS all well?!” With the last word she threw him up into the air and punched him right into the side of the house.

I screamed and made a run for it; the other men were already scattering like roaches as she started to take her wrath out on us.

“YOU’D BETTER CLEAN UP EVERY LAST STRAND OF HAIR!!!”

“NACCHI, FORGIVE US!!!”

…

The day went pretty dark after that. Soon we were all outside around the Hinata house, picking up all the scattered hair with Velcro brooms. I sniffled, having a black eye and plenty of bruises all over after Nacchi got through with us. What a pain that Mister Sergeant had led yet again led us to another failed operation. It was past my bedtime and we were still cleaning up the remains of that icky hairball.

“Hmph!” Giroro Senpai grumbled from nearby. Despite a few bruises he seemed to have not been beaten as severely as the rest of us. “What a stupid idea for invasion.”

“You were just as excited about it when we started!” Sergeant shot back. He had a huge bruise right in the middle of his face from when Nacchi pounded him into the side of the house. _Poor Sergeant. He tries, but we never…_

I shook the layer of hair off my broom into my trash bag. Whatever. I’d had enough invading for today. I just wanted to go home and relax in my big bed.

It wasn’t much longer before we’d finally finished. I plopped down on the pavement to rest my aching legs underneath a street lamp. That was way more work than I’d asked for, for sure. Giroro Senpai had already made his exit back to his tent the second the hair was picked up; I think Kururu Senpai retired long before that. Sheesh.

“Uncle!” that woman’s voice rang out. She came out walking from the Hinata yard, looking as perky as ever since she didn’t help us with ANY OF THE WORK AT ALL! She knelt down on the pavement right as Sergeant dropped his broom and collapsed back on her lap. “Mois-dono…” he whimpered, shutting his eyes.

I almost choked on my own throat. How DARE he sprawl across her like that after all I’ve done for him and all she hasn’t?! How dare she rest her hand on his head like he was hers?! He WASN’T hers – he was MINE! When were they going to realize that and stop their stupid little game?!

Before I knew it I was shooting through the night sky on my hover pad, shaking and blood boiling. Tears burnt at my eyes no matter how much I didn’t want them to come out. All I wanted was to go home and eat some chocolate and sleep after this cruddy day. I could have killed Sergeant, and that woman, for treating me so badly. They danced around in their own little happy world and no matter how much I exploded and fought my way to interrupt them and break it apart…

_Every day it’s him with her and me alone._

More tears blurred my vision as I neared the Nishizawa residence. It didn’t used to be this way. Those first days on Pekopon, before that woman showed up he was all mine. MY Sergeant. And I was his Second Class. We did everything together and he treated me special.

But then that woman, she fell from the sky and crash landed on all our lives and messed everything up! Sergeant never treated me the same since then. All of the sudden he became glued to that woman and I had to fight for him.

And I would. I would fight and I would never lose him to her. Never!

Next thing I knew I was inside the mansion, heading for my room. I walked down the giant silent hall with moonlight pouring in through the ornate windows. Everyone must have gone to bed already…

“Tama-chan?”

I startled at Momochi’s light voice in the silence.

“Are you all right?”

I knew she wasn’t talking about my physical injuries. Getting pounded was just part of the daily life on Pekopon when you were an invader (and your Pekoponian comrade preferred speaking with her fists). Momochi knew something else was wrong, and I realized that my eyes were still wet. “It was just a dumb day,” I mumbled in a shaky voice, wiping my face with my arm. I broke into a faster pace and hurried through my door before she could say anything else.

Resting in bed with several bars of chocolate was just what I needed a few minutes later. The tears were done; it was just a matter of working up the will to go after Sergeant again tomorrow. _She’ll pay_ , I thought of that woman as I gnawed on the chocolate. _I’ll win him back tomorrow and he won’t ever look at her again._

…

The sky was thick and foggy.  Nacchi sat on the grass on the back lawn, her legs curled beside her and looking down with a shy smile on her face. Her cheeks were a bit pink. Giroro Senpai walked out of his tent and hobbled toward her tiredly, until he flopped backward so his head rested on her lap. “Nacchi,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

I waited for her to beat the tar out of him, but instead she stroked his cheek with her fingers. “Giroro-kun,” she responded lovingly. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing!

“Jealousy…” someone growled. Chills ran all over my body at the voice; it sounded like me but somehow incredibly more fearsome. I turned my head to see Kururu Senpai standing next to me, his fist clenched and teeth gritted. I stumbled back; he looked way more scary than I ever felt when I was jealous. “Jealousy…”

“Oji-sama!”

“Mois-dono!”

I twitched, whirled around at the sound of the familiar voices. Sergeant and that woman were also suddenly there, and I felt hot with anger at seeing her sprawled across him on the grass. He didn’t even look uncomfortable being squished by her; he was blushing! She looked back at him with a strange look, too, for her. She grinned and looked assertive instead of her usual wimpy. Was it because she thought she was better than me? That she had Mister Sergeant and I could never get him back from her?!

“Jealousy…” I seethed, joining in with Kururu Senpai so it sounded like a chanting chorus. I felt angry, but that woman’s expression left me feeling smaller. A thought of doubt crept up on me, that she knew I’d already lost and Sergeant was all hers now. That I _would_ never get him back from her.

My dark side peeled back at the thought. That couldn’t be…

Somehow I instinctively whipped back around to Kururu Senpai, to get him to help me before I lost Sergeant forever. I started to cry out the words but startled to see that he was staring right back at me. And he had that irritated look on his face I saw the other night when we’d watched the scary movie.

It was the face of jealousy.

“Wah!” I cried, popping up in bed. My heart pounded and I felt so upset. I looked around in the darkness, trying to get myself to realize that it was night, that I was just in my room and none of that had been real.

_Or maybe…_

It was almost real. Maybe it would be if these things continued the way they were. I had to stop that from happening! I couldn’t lose Sergeant like that.

I felt maybe there was only one way to reverse these trends. Only out of my greatest desperation could there have sprouted such a really stupid idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story might not update for a little while; I'm a bit caught on another fic right now. But I look forward to getting back to this one when it is done!


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